The G-B-F

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My advice to young people is don’t take any advice. Don’t listen to anyone. Fuck the system, fuck the rules, make it up as you go along — don’t copy what anyone else does, follow your heart, follow your dreams, and eventually you will wake up and you’ll look back at your work and you’ll realize that what you did was honest to yourself.
Jefferson Hack, How Jefferson Hack Made It In Fashion (via westernhearts)

(via westernhearts)

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Marketing strategy has taken over our personalities and I hate it. Today everyone is in the business of branding themselves, accentuating their most easily grasped and deeply appealing traits. We all have to sell ourselves just to have the right to occupy space in our private and public lives.” She continues, “I am not who I am wearing. I am wearing Me: a bunch of complex and contradictory traits lined up in a body that will age. I a not a brand. I am a multiple of all the Mes inside me. Not memes. Mes. And that goes for you, us, and all of us. It is the return of complex individuality.
Dasha Zhukova - fourth issue of Garage Magazine (via dandydud)

(Source: nearlynineteen)

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the-t-files:

FILED UNDER: Beautified App

Finally! The process of booking beauty appointments is an annoying one, and here to save the day is Beautified, an iOS app that ushers you into the doors of DreamDry, Shibui Spa, Tracie Martyn, John Barrett and many more. The list of spas and salons is curated by beauty experts, and you can be sure that Beautified won’t let you down as its the creation of DJ/it-girl Hannah Bronfman. The app offers special treatments, and users can also choose from eight different options (massage, blowout, pedi, facial, etc.) Not yet in the app store, we advise beauty lovers who love a little pampering to request an invite on the site now!

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madmenworld:


How should we read Betty jokingly telling Henry (Christopher Stanley) to rape Sandy (Kerris Lilla Dorsey)?



Betty is—as we have always perceived—a perverse person with a sense of humor, and Henry is a straight arrow. As creepy as what she’s saying is, you’re getting someone who is playfully perverse. She’s not a bland, distracted human being. She is teasing him in a way that shows the force of her personality. I’m aware of the fact that that will make some people uncomfortable, but I also felt it was Betty Draper being playful. She is being herself with him. I also love it because it just felt very much like a slight scratch beneath the surface of what we always assume is the most bland and TV-ized relationship. But these are people who are in a relationship for a long time, and that is Betty Draper. It was, believe it or not, in my own way, a symbol of the health of their relationship and her confidence in it, honestly. —Matthew Weiner
ORLY, Mr. Weiner? I thought that sounded much harsher and more disturbing than intended, and it made me disproportionately concerned for Betty. I don’t know a mother who would say something like that, particularly referring to a 15-year-old girl whose mother is dead.
I’m quite sure the blogosphere will have plenty to say about this, if it hasn’t already. I just haven’t had a chance to poke around to see what’s shaking yet, but that’s what the time between episodes is for, amiright?
Click through for the rest of Matthew Weiner’s interview with the Daily Beast, which is a fine, if contentious, read.

madmenworld:

How should we read Betty jokingly telling Henry (Christopher Stanley) to rape Sandy (Kerris Lilla Dorsey)?

Betty is—as we have always perceived—a perverse person with a sense of humor, and Henry is a straight arrow. As creepy as what she’s saying is, you’re getting someone who is playfully perverse. She’s not a bland, distracted human being. She is teasing him in a way that shows the force of her personality. I’m aware of the fact that that will make some people uncomfortable, but I also felt it was Betty Draper being playful. She is being herself with him. I also love it because it just felt very much like a slight scratch beneath the surface of what we always assume is the most bland and TV-ized relationship. But these are people who are in a relationship for a long time, and that is Betty Draper. It was, believe it or not, in my own way, a symbol of the health of their relationship and her confidence in it, honestly. —Matthew Weiner

ORLY, Mr. Weiner? I thought that sounded much harsher and more disturbing than intended, and it made me disproportionately concerned for Betty. I don’t know a mother who would say something like that, particularly referring to a 15-year-old girl whose mother is dead.

I’m quite sure the blogosphere will have plenty to say about this, if it hasn’t already. I just haven’t had a chance to poke around to see what’s shaking yet, but that’s what the time between episodes is for, amiright?

Click through for the rest of Matthew Weiner’s interview with the Daily Beast, which is a fine, if contentious, read.

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Men on the DL and why they’ll only work for (certain) women.

Urban Dictionairy definition of DL: DOWN LOW see also D low—Hidden, concealed,secret.Specifically used to refer to covert male homosexual activity.Whether we’re talking about guys who freak with their boys, or hustlers who are strictly “gay for pay” Thanks to homophobia, bigotry and all that bullshit in their communities they prefer to keep things quiet: On the DL

   Men on the DL or Down Low have been around since i’m going to assume the beginning of time. These men are always on the prowl for their next conquest and most likely have a girlfriend or wife at home who has absolutely no clue. Maybe at one point she was informed and decided to turn a blind eye to it so as to not end up alone or have to start from scratch with someone new. My problem with this is when men on the dl try to take on a lover of the same sex as a “boyfriend on the side” or mistress, if you will.

As gay men most of us have been through this type of situation with a man at some point in our lives. We tell ourselves they’ll end up comming out and leave their spouse for us or that we’re okay with having a relationship that has to be kept a secret. Sometimes they’re in the closet simply because they don’t want their family to dissown them or simply look at them from a myopic point of view, Understandable to an extent.

Though everyone should/will go through this in the gay community these are the reasons it will just straight up never work out for you and men on the DL need to end up with women.

1) They won’t be man enough to come out for you. point blank period.

2) The wife may not know and he could have kids….let that sink in.

3) He’ll never fully feel like a man with you.

4) The fact that you at any point had to keep your relationship a secret is degrading if you ask me.

5) running around in secret wears thin on patience quickly

6) No matter how much he says he loves you he’s saying it to a woman too and most likely he’s going home to her and will blatantly ignore you for her if she finds out about you and wants him to end it.

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The New Elegance

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In 2013 things are changing. A black pope was in the running to be newly elected, New York is trying to control how much sugary drinks its citizens and tourists intake, and a diamond planet was found. Something I feel people don’t think about enough and is being redefined all the time is the idea of elegance. let me start by saying people can have incredibly different definitions of the word and it can run the gamut from what to wear and how to act. I’m going to cover the ways that i see elegance and what i’d put in the category.

Lets start with the idea of whats sexy. Women like Audrey Hepburn and Marylin Monroe will always go down in history as sexy elegant women of their time but I have a few more modern icons that could be added to the list. It goes without saying that the women of Sex and the City will go down as stylish, sexy, elegant TV screen icons. They made it possible for women to openly discuss the politics of sex from when it’s okay to give your man a threesome to how to “think like a man” when it comes to sex. Which brings me to my first point: Learn to talk about sex in an open and mature way without being vulgar or too graphic about whats going on behind your own bedroom door. Women like Dita Von Teese who are pinups and work in the Sex industry can be seen as a sex symbol while being dressed well down to the accoutrement’s and makeup they wear as well as being soft spoken, well spoken, and candid about sex (something my fellow homosexuals should REALLY try) all while holding a lady like demeanor. Young women of my generation should seriously take note from these ladies.

Manners are a huge part (in my opinion) of being elegant. Man or woman if you see someone walking to a door you are exiting or entering it would be kind to hold a door out for them….no brain er. Something else I think is great and incredibly “old world” is standing when a lady is leaving or approaching a table, though I don’t see many men doing this you should try it and maybe get some brownie points. Another thing that i was always taught by my parents at a young age is always let the lady walk on the inside of the sidewalk when taking a stroll or going anywhere for that matter. If you want to know why it’s because if a car careens into you guys hopefully you get hit first and the woman you are with will live, at least I think that’s why. try it on a date the girl might find it endearing. Ladies a little tip for you guys might to be try greeting your man at home with his favorite drink poured dinner ready, even if ordered from the local Chinese place, and wear sexy lingerie under any outfit you decide to wear. The brave women could wear it under nothing but an apron. Something both parties men and women can follow is learning when to shut up. yes, learn when to speak and when to keep things to yourself. This comes especially handy in the case of social media where tons of people can potentially see your political views sprawled out for the Internet world to see (never a good conversation piece). just think about when someone has a disagreement with you and they’re voice elevates and they start yelling obscenities while your voice remains calm and you remember not to call the outside of their name, by default i’d say you win that battle.

Clothing, And this is a huge one for me. Women can wear stomachs exposed and a cute little mini dress or skirt but i can’t stress tailoring enough. No one needs to see your undergarments (unless it’s a brief short made to be seen under a sheer skirt). Tailoring also goes for men too. Just because you have on a suit does not make you dapper if it’s a baggy or wrinkly mess. Word t-shirts with garish wording telling someone to “come at you bro” is not doing anything for you besides letting them know you can’t let go of the jersey shore. Throw it away. A positive style advice for a man is to wear a hard soled shoe because it changes the way you walk, move, and stand. Plus, women and the gays are judging you on what you put on your feet. On the subject of feet you should NOT and i repeat NOT leave socks on during sex unless you have gnarly toes in which case you can leave those bad boys on! Going back to the girls for a second too heels always elevate an outfit and as the same with hard soled shoes make your posture better and give you a little but lift. A little fun fact is the heel is designed to mimic the way a women’s foot moves during her orgasm so automatically it adds an elegant sex appeal.

take note everyone and anyone who’d like and maybe you’ll start noticing a positive difference in the way people perceive you. I left out obvious things like not chewing with your mouth open, being a bully, fighting physically, and thinking you’re always right as well as having an ego. Feel free to tell me what you’d add to the list.

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E-Etiquette vs. REAL Etiquette

In an age where you can get everything off of the Internet it has become increasingly brought to my attention that my generation is turning into a bunch of rude cyber zombies. This is not to say that I haven’t fallen victim from time to time to the master that is my cellular device and mobile acquirement’s. We’ve become so enthralled in social media sites that we’ve developed a way of acting and being on the Internet that it has become a form of etiquette and can create a persona that is completely different from our own. It doesn’t even stop there, it overflows into our real tangible lives to the point where we can be in the middle of a face to face human interaction and be completely ignoring the person in front of us to check a facebook message or tweet a thought (sometimes even a thought given to us via the conversation present).

To be completely honest I, along with so many others, lives would probably shut down if all our mobile devices and laptops shut down for a total of 24 hours. Think about how many things you rely on your tablet or phone for like the news, magazines, shopping, dating and soooo much more. For example I don’t remember the last time I read something out of an actual paper made newspaper or got a letter in the mail instead of an e-mail. Facebook has a become a way to communicate a thought or idea to people you probably wouldn’t be brave enough or at ease enough to say to someone in person (which can be admittedly useful at times). This is turning everyone of my generation into someone who needs to be validated for an idea or have a new haircut that they themselves love be approved by an audience of strangers. Think about how many of us( predominantly gay i think) have an app on our phones for dating……This is a problem. You’re taking away the physicality of meeting someone and getting to see them and experience their personality first hand. On the Internet you have the ability to edit what you say or even erase it for that matter as apposed to just THINKING about what spews from your food hole before letting it out. Recently on a date with a man who is a generation older than I it was brought to my attention that i check my phone too often and that even setting up the date should have been done over the phone instead of via email. The sincerity and out right annoyance of the fact that I wasn’t able to think of an excuse for why i do this was not a strong point in this date. It got me thinking that myself and my peers have developed a completely separate idea of etiquette than that of our older counterparts. It’s a sad sad day when you realize you’ve just said something meaningful to a friend or confidant but that person hasn’t heard a word you’ve said because they’re in the middle of an intense game of temple run.

I don’t think it’s too late for this to change (well maybe it is but this is my small part to help) our off putting ways. When you’re in the middle of a business meeting, sex, school, or even an interesting conversation it might be a tad more appropriate to put your phone on silent or dare i say TURN IT OFF. I’ve become accustom to letting my phone die and leaving it that way (which by some standards is seen as rude in itself, go figure) Remember that when you’re editing what you say on the inter-web you can easily do this in your mind in actuality without blurting out some offensive garbage. I think not texting during sex is a no brainer and that if you want to invite someone somewhere or have concrete plans without confusion then you should probably just place a phone call. Lastly I don’t think it would be too much to ask in general to have a serious conversation with someone face to face, no one wants to be broken up through text, that’s disrespectful. Besides when you’re telling someone how you feel it’s quite easy to misinterpret the tone by reading words on a screen with no voice to go along with it. We could all benefit from a little face time……I don’t mean your app.

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The Golden Stage

 In any relationship there is a grace period where the person you are with practically gets away with murder. You know you’re in the honeymoon stage or golden stage when you don’t get mad that he calls you before 10am, the sound of his voice sounds sexy even when he’s clearing phlegm from his throat, and any sexual advance is seen as romantic instead of him just trying to use your body instead of his now sore hand.

When a relationship is new it’s refreshing and brings out the best in you like you’ve swallowed mood elevators and you’re trying to spread joy to all those around you. You dress in your best and always have the”good” underwear on while being well groomed in case they surprises you and wants to go to dinner (which you know ends back at one of your places). The paint is still wet on this relationship and you love it in the moment because it hasn’t lost its glossy tint yet.

More people should use this time to lay ground work for how you’d like this relationship to sail (see what i did there) instead of mentally picturing monogrammed towel sets and what private school to send your future child to. I say this especially to women because at times I see some of my girlfriends/ guurl friends take the honeymoon stage and implant in their minds that it’s going to be valentines day year round. This is not the case. You’ll start to notice each other’s physical flaws and bodily smells along with little behaviors they have that annoy you. Vice versa, he’ll start to see you as an annoying nag and you’ll complain to all your friends about him to the point where when they finally meet him they hate him.

Covet the golden period in a relationship and use the allotted time to make it go further than just this stage. for real for real if they’re worth it you’ll be glad you did………if not every relationship is a lesson or a blessing.

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About:

The G-B-F is a blog dedicated to being that friend who you go to for advice. predominantly on the subjects of culture, style, art, sex, relationships and etc.

Everyone has that gay friend that they go to for advice or just generally like spending time with (and if you don’t you might want to get on that). You can ask your gay friend sex questions you’d feel to squeamish to talk to someone else like a relative or your boyfriend or girlfriends about. It goes without saying that gay friends always get asked about style advice even if they themselves have no clue what they’re dulling out as “helpful words of wisdom”. Also, between you and I, if you’ve never been to an art exhibit with your sharp/ witty gay friend i suggest you do it ‘cause if you have no interest in it they can make it fun for you….or shovel down the free glasses of wine with you.

Ed note: I am in no way representing the homosexual community as a whole and this is all from my perspective and opinion. (This is NOT a fashion blog)